Ashley

(Sung to the tune of "Lucille" by Kenny Rogers)

In a bar in Brooklyn, yet her nose wasn’t hookin’

Her laptop was sexy and black

I thought I’d get closer, so I slid right on over

And gave her my usual tack

When replies finally hit her

She said I love twitter

But I can’t keep living on memes

Mr. X shot a blaster and it caused a disaster

And I’m after whatever, the other life brings

Then I saw the straight shooter

Whose car was computer

I thought how he looked out of place

He came to the e-girl

Who sat there beside me

He had a smug look on his face

He pulled out a folder, as big as a mountain

With some signatures loopy and red

It was non-disclosure from the over exposure

then he turned to the e-girl and said

(Chorus)

You picked a fine time to leave me Ashley

With four hundred children and bots on the feed

I showed you some Chad times, lived through Chabad times

You tell me you won’t feed my seeds

You picked a fine time to leave me Ashley”

(Verse)

After he left us

I charged up my Tesla

I thought of the cost of her haul

We walked back to the shtetl

She had lost all her mettle

We walked without talking at all

She was influential

But not so respectful

She thought that my ax she could grind

I had to scold her

‘cause the lines on the folder

Kept coming back time after time

(Chorus)

You picked a fine time to leave me Ashley

With four hundred children and bots on the feed

I showed you some Chad times, you headbutt my ex-Grimes

You tell me you won’t feed my seeds

You picked a fine time to leave me Ashley”