(This is new fiction, for a prior collection click here)
Manish Apparsunduram made it a habit to review the videos before release, as awkward as it was to watch himself. He had a videographer and editor, but no one had an eye for the final product like Manish, and he was ultimately responsible for the brand. His reach was now at 10000 followers on LinkedIn, a good “base” to work with. But he was still uncomfortable watching himself on the screen. Manish was still wearing the light-colored suit and turtleneck, a look he cultivated as a counterweight to the tech slob chic which had become the drab uniform of Silicon Valley. But without the tie, which would be way too retro to attempt unironically. Manish was an arbiter of sincerity.
Manish was also the founder and CEO of Bhavan Naan Grata, which roughly translated to “House of free bread” a career coaching platform he developed to help recently laid off tech coders gain new positions in industry. Career coaching is a $15 billion industry and growth was projected to grow by 3% in the next year. Newly laid off would need help finding new jobs, and with severance checks they can easily cover their fees. Manish being the son of a chef in Punjab, the career coaching process was no different than making a chana bhatura. A bit of flour costs 30 cents, but rolled flat and dropped in boiling oil, the flour puffs up until it is the shape of a fluffy pillow, and you can charge $12 a plate for such a dish. The main expense being the labor; in America you can pay an Ecuadoran $5 an hour to pump out dosa and bhatura. In the coaching world it was even easier, just set up a few puppet accounts on a forum platform and use fiver to hire temp workers to help candidates draft resumes. The key advice Manish gave was this, whatever the candidate has on their resume, change it. If the candidate has, “Experienced problem-solver”, change it to “enthusiastic and dynamic leader”. If the candidate has start and stop dates on their resume, take them off. If there are no start and stop dates to prior employment, add them back. The temps on fiver were interchangeable, he changed the login on their puppet account every month or so when they’d quit, it was like a form of reincarnation of the account. The labor to make the chana bhatura wasn’t what elevated the value from 30 cents to $12, it was the piping hot air that wafted through the room as the waiter brought it to your table. And it was this hot air that Manish provided to Bhavan Naan Grata.
Manish hit play.
“I’m about to give you all something that everyone freely gives but no one really wants, advice. But I will give it to you in the form of a parable. Once upon a time, early in my career I was working in my startup, and I noticed a young graduate, who was beginning an internship. She was European, and even dressed very differently and had a somewhat ruddy face, but that’s not important. What’s important is she was sitting quite calmly in the hallway outside a conference room. What struck me was that she was sitting on the floor. Curious, I asked this young lady why she was sitting on the floor. She told me she had an appointment in the room. Her appointment was at 9, and it was 9:05. So, her interviewer was slightly late. I asked her if she tried opening the door, and she had not. Then I simply reached over, and opened the door, and told her there were chairs inside.”
Manish stopped the video and made a note “switch camera angles at ‘What struck me’” and hit play.
“Now, I know what you’re thinking, because I thought the same thing, that, this was a candidate without initiative, that she was passive, and, perhaps not even capable of standing. In my youth I can tell you I never allowed a door to stand between me and my goals. I would at the very least check the door. If it were open, I could calmly wait in the comfortable chair for my interviewer. I was taught as a child to take the initiative, to be a go-getter, to tackle the big problems head on. To work long hours and nights and weekends, coding, troubleshooting, developing. This approach has largely worked for me. But this advice is antiquated. Do you know who the young lady was in the hallway?”
Manish paused the video: “Add a pregnant pause before the reveal of the lady” and hit play.
“Helga Van Pelt”
To the audience, Helga needed no introduction. She received series III funding on a new app (Appuela) that allows employers to bid on day laborers. For a nominal service charge, verified contractors from Latin America (or otherwise bilingual) would be rated on the quality of their work and their work rate or efficiency. Helga was able to undercut Home Depot and Lowe’s registered contractors, and her interface was a marked improvement over Angie’s List. Appuela just received $125 million in series C funding.
“So, here I am, an old-fashioned thinker, who sees a door, and just, wants to open the door. Perhaps I may begin my meeting on the other side. If the interviewer is late, maybe they would be impressed by my efficiency. But I learned from Helga that sometimes the opposite is true.
Showing initiative is a sign of aggression. It’s one thing to want to demonstrate your skills, but when a potential employer sees that you enter the door before him or her, you may be perceived as a threat. The best posture, when searching for employment, is to be perceived as a diamond in the rough with no ambition whatsoever. The proper decorum is to mentally envision yourself laying prostrate before your future employer and exposing your underbelly to be pat or beaten as his leisure and being a world beating genius working 80 hours a week and including weekends. Yes, Helga, in fact, was making the right decision, waiting patiently for the door to open before her and the opportunity to arise. Calm, diligent patience is the key.”
Manish noticed a bead of sweat on his forehead in the video. He was haunted by that bead of sweat. What would his LinkedIn audience think if they saw this sign of apprehension. Then Manish considered the per diem cost of another videographer. Manish texted his editor:
“Do edit the sweat/shine from the forehead, match to skin…what is the ETA here?”
With hand firmly on his chin Manish pondered the screen, and his own uncertainty
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